Reflections after a birthday

Reflections after a birthday

I know I have been very laid back the last week, that was just because I was enjoying my birthday and since a day is too short, I decided to extend it till the weekend. With so much time on my hand relaxing one can only start reflecting on one’s past and I came to some conclusions about myself.

As I have grown older, I have become more compassionate to myself, and less critical. I’ve become my own pal.. I understand now that the things which used to niggle me did not really matter.

I have known and seen too many faces leave this world too soon, before they get to value the freedom that comes with growing older – Freedom of letting things
go – Freedom of letting myself come first in my life.

It’s my business if I wish to read or play on my ipad  until 4 AM or sleep until noon . I will watch back to back episodes of Desperate Housewives on a Friday afternoon with a tub of my favorite Ice Cream or my newly discovered Cadbury “Clusters”. I will dance with myself to those brilliant tunes of the 80’s & 90’s. I will do these things because they are what make me tick and tick I must for myself!

I will go on about things I must complete for my bucket list- I will –  talk about learning Spanish / getting fitter / having a business / swim like a dolphin, travelling to places i can only dream off – despite the glares and  opinions from the hoi polloi. (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Hoi+polloi) They, too, will get old and on their approval I will not get rewarded extra time on this earth.

I will remember the bad times – They led to a wiser, battle scarred me.

Inevitably, over the years my heart has been broken. How can you not get hurt/ feel sad when your child suffers /when you lose a loved one, or, or even when someone breaks your most treasured knickknacks, but broken hearts are what give us depth and empathy and benevolence. A heart never broken is untouched and barren and will never know the joy of being flawed.

I am so blessed to have breathed so far enough to have my hair turning nearly grey (not many women would confess to that), and to have my laughter to be forever sketched
into fine lines on my face. Countless have never giggled let alone laughed, and so many have departed this life before their hair could turn silver.

As you get mature, it is easier to be optimistic. You worry less about what other people think about you. I believe I have earned the right to be wrong….
So I have stop asking myself questions and analyzing every single doubt. Live and Let Live.. Life is too Short!

So, when everyone around me wants me to answer – How old are you this year or Do you like Birthdays ? “My answer would be – I am one year wiser and Yes, I love
Birthdays”.  I  like the individual I have become. I am not going to live eternally, but while I am here, I will not waste time grieving what could have been, or agonizing about what will be. And I shall eat chocolates every single day (and so should you)

 

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