It’s been so long again and I keep shillyshally! I keep writing and not posting but I guess it’s time to get back in action and so I wanted to share this …on 12/12/12…. I know it’s kinda long but hey what the hell – Happy Reading!!
Well it is not a bed of roses to raise a child single handedly; however it’s up to the individual to take it as a blessing or to keep ranting about it… Personally I have learnt that it is indeed a blessing. There are a lot of upsides to being a single mom and the extra ordinary experiences that emerge from bringing up your child alone… (no doubt at times it totally frustrating and you wish they was someone to just take over for a bit like even an hour – just so you don’t have to run to the stationary shop at 10pm or run to buy a pair of white shoes for school PE or take him for a haircut or someone who could actually stand up and make a point without ME having to feel bad all the time or even, not having to hook up the TV/ video or ps3 cables for him…)
It’s definitely not easy being a single mom but here is how I look at it:
1. I share a closer bond with my son.
Although it is true that boys are closer to mom and daughter are closer to Dads however solo parenting does not leave you with that choice – you love your one and only be it a girl or a boy or even more than one. My son can trust me fully and depend on me and that’s a wonderful feeling. I can proudly say that I have been there for him since he was born and I kinda taught him everything he knows. I witnessed the first smile, the first letter, the sound the steps and annoying yet heart melting crying and those things you cannot relive. I am his mom and I am his dad.
2. I feel like a supermom
And I can only talk for myself or help other single mom’s change they perspective if be it. I have people asking me all the time “How do u do it”, “It must be difficult” and it makes me feel rather silly cox, “I just do it”, I wouldn’t know the difference of not doing it”… This is my life and I am used to it and I am content, happy and also confident.” And I can tell from the look on my son’s face that somehow my hard work, scarifies, love, protecting and my attitude has only made him a happy child too (and a very friendly and lovely too).
3. Yes there days when they are younger and crankier and more issues but now when he’s turned ten already, he is all grown up, he understands me better, he’s more concerned about my whereabouts and likes and dislikes and my moods and even what color lipstick should I wear…or maybe I should wear the blue frock (yes he calls it’s a frock and not a dress “giggles”) I can look back 10 years and feel proud that I have come a long way on my own and it is the best feeling ever.
4. Although I have to thank my immediate family and very close friends (more like family) that have been there for me – a few have come and gone and a few have still hung around and many more have added… It is very important to have a reliable and close knitted group of people you can bank on. And thanks to them we end up having a bigger family and thus it is not hard at all being a single mom.
5. Then I have my mom who thinks how am I ever going to make it thru at different stages in my life being a single mom, but I get a lot of encouraging words, moral support and unconditional love from certain people, that make all my worries vanish and makes me a stronger woman internally and more on the outside…
6. And now the kool part is that I am my own boss in my own house especially even more so if you are not sharing the custody of your child with his/her father. Cox at the end of the day it’s your call (be it right or wrong) you have the freedom to make those important decisions.. My son cannot turn around and tell me “Hmmnnnn – let me ask Daddy or he will do it for me or I will go ask him”.. Plus even my son doesn’t have to think about who do I love more or who’s gonna get me the better gift or Dad is in a bad mood or mom and dad are forever fighting and stuff like that.. He knows what to expect from me and I know how much to spoil him..
7. As a single mom and a mother I need to keep both my son and myself safe at all times. So no abusive or unhealthy environment at home is allowed (which generally happens in the case if men are around – they want to drink, they bring they office stress home, throw they weight around, call friends at any time of the night over, the manly talk and abusive language)
8. I don’t mean to belittle or demean any Dads or men – I am just stating how I love being a single mom and it means everything to me that I am the reason my child feels loved and I am capable of providing all the emotional security. So all you single mom’s out there you guys are doing a brilliant job, it’s never going to be easy and at times your children will refuse to even acknowledge you but deep down in their hearts they know that it YOU who has always been they from them and no one else. They will be your friends; it’s only up to you how you make them your BEST friends!
9. All said and done, I wish him all the success in his life, of course a typical parent (mom) always wanting him to accomplish more and want more for him and all of that but I might not say this quite often I am grateful for all that he is and for all that he does..
10. My friends even call him my Manager or my Bodyguard or someone who doesn’t let me do anything without him knowing or approving it first… Now with him around who needs a bigger family…? I can hardly handle him!!