A while ago, I had a falling out with a friend – It was a very small issue which got exacerbated by her going into denial mode –“ Hey if it didn’t happen, then who says I am to blame”. For me I think it was the lack of acknowledgement of the issue that wouldn’t let the ember die. Days passed and from a friend I could trust I now see someone who I rather not be in the vicinity off. Hitting on yesterday’s topic about lies – a small tear in a relationship can at times cause everything to unravel – and for me this rings true. In one word for me it is a betrayal of our friendship, not because of the falling out or the cold vibes but more from the fact that the unspoken rules of friendship have been broken.
For me there are three basic rules:
Confront me when you have a problem – There is no reason to talk about me /against me to all of our friends. We don’t need mediators – we are supposed to be way better than that.
If I am having a bad day or am upset, take the time to ask me what’s wrong – Ignoring me isn’t going to fix my problem and even though I know you have that party to go to – I am sure you could take a minute or two out reach out. And whatever you do don’t dismiss my issues as being trivial – They are my issues and minimizing them does not make me feel better, it tells me that you think I am over sensitive to everything.
Support my hobbies – Yes I know you are a wonderful in the arts but hey could you try and not keep figuring out how to outshine the rest of us? For a klutz like me, a simple decopatch project is an achievement and yes I need to bask in my own glory once in a while.